what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
