At least make sure they are 18
Why
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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