So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
