is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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