just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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