Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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