I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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