you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
