Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
