well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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