he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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