I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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