When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
