what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
