Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
