I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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