if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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