hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize