He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
