I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
