I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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