she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
