Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
