i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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