Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
