before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
