I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
did i walk over a car last night?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
