he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
