I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
