All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
