is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
