I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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