we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
