Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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