Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
