bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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