You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
