Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
