Small penises have feelings too.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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