whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize