well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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