She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
