is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize