His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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