I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
