I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
