Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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