it hurts more in the daytime
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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