Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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