i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
