so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
