party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
