We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
