Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
