I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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