i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
