so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
