I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
